My Testimony

Unbelief, Positive Confession and other lies the Devil told me….

Ephesians 5:6 – 13

“Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light. (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.”

Before I was saved, when I was a teenager, I became involved in the occult. I used to perform Tarot Card readings. I had a friend that joined a coven of Wiccan witches. This happened after I met her. I used to go to this shop that the head witch owned and hang out with her, because that’s where she worked. Then I began to learn about witchcraft. Witches operate on a set of beliefs (if you can call it that) that if they say something enough and want it enough then it will happen. The practitioners of this abomination believe in this so-called spiritual law of positive confession even if they don’t call it that, that’s what it is. It is almost like the Hindu belief of Karma. Basically, if you do good, then good will be done to you, ie. Things will go your way. If you do bad, then bad things will happen to you. Positive confession is only positive on the basis of the adherent’s own thinking. Meaning, if John Doe has a positive confession of getting a new cadillac, and he gets one, who is that benefiting? So in John Doe’s mind, he must think positively (in his own self interest) and speak positively. A lot of poor people are sucked into the ‘prosperity’ side of this false gospel, but it’s still just Word of Faith.

I actually saw this ridiculous practice and partook of it. I am so glad that the Lord Jesus Christ has forgiven me of all my sins! A couple of years ago I met a woman who seemed to be a devout follower of Jesus Christ. She was also a devout follower of Rodney Howard-Browne. This is where I was introduced to his church which is in Tampa, Florida. She said that she would frequently have prayer meetings in her house with a few other Christians and it seemed good to me that I could meet with other ladies in her home and “pray” and discuss “the things of God”.

I began attending a few meetings, which happened late at night, in her home. Weird things began to happen. But I will get to that in a moment. I was at this time seeking God about moving and buying a house. It didn’t really seem that we would be able to buy a house anytime soon because the real estate was so expensive in our city. We decided to move to the country but we were asking God to lead us to the right place. After telling this woman (I will call Sally) that I was praying about this, she said that she would ask the Lord about this for me. Oh, I almost forgot. She had some kind of belly shaking phenomenon every time that the “spirit” (supposedly the Holy Spirit) would either speak to her or she would “feel” the annointing.

The second part is that one day she said, “Let’s go for a drive. I know there’s a road in a nearby town where there’s a lot of houses for sale, and it’s in the country.” I said, ok. But she had also said that God had told her that our house was on that road. I was like, “yeah right,” but I said, “Ok.” So, we went for a drive. She drove my car and I got a really bad feeling about that. I was afraid of this woman; I didn’t trust her. That should have been my clue and my exit stage left, but I wanted to be sure. So we were driving along this road and then all of a sudden she turns into a property and says, “this is the one.” I never would’ve thought that we could ever afford that house. I said, ok. But in my heart and spirit, I didn’t believe it. I thought she was crazy. She urged me to get out of the van and “claim this land for me in Jesus’ name.” I thought, “Isn’t that witchcraft?” but I didn’t want to seem rude, so I got out of the van and prayed a short prayer. I knew that there was no way that we could afford that house. That’s when the lie began.

At this point there was definitely another spirit hanging around me feeding my flesh and mind with ideas that were not of God and it actually faked being the Holy Spirit. Meaning, I thought I was praying to God and it would masquerade itself as the Holy Spirit and I would think things in my mind and think that it was God speaking to me. The Lord Jesus Christ does speak to His children, but it’s done according to His Word and by His Word. The Spirit of the Lord never contradicts the Word of God and only works within the Finished Work of Jesus Christ on the Cross. We are admonished to try the spirits for many false prophets have gone out into the world (1John 4:1). This is where I failed. The spirits are tried by the Word of God, ie. Jesus Christ. The Word also says in verse 3 that every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God and is in fact the spirit of anti-Christ.

I was so deceived at this point, but it was a willful deception. What I mean is that I knew in my heart and knew enough of the Word of God that what I was hearing in the spirit was contradictory to the Word, but I wasn’t sure I was right. To be quite honest, I was walking in my own understanding and thus in the flesh. One of the works of the flesh is heresy which is departure from God’s Word of Truth.

I also wanted to believe that my sister Sally was really a good person and that the direction I was going in was the right one because she was going in that direction. We must never lean on our own understanding and we must ever look to the Cross of Jesus Christ, because He is the Way, the Truth, the Life. If your brother, sister, father, mother, daughter, son, cousin, husband or wife is going in another direction opposite or opposed to the Cross, you must still walk the Way of the Cross, following Jesus Christ, taking up your cross and denying yourself. We cannot judge our way based on someone else’s faith or decisions.

Even though at this time I knew that the Lord was not pleased with my association with her and would not work in the following way, I continued to be curious about Rodney Howard-Browne and this woman and her practices. I remember one day (after the car ride) hearing this deceiving spirit to go buy a lotto ticket. I never gamble and never buy lotto tickets. I thought this was a sin. That was my thought, but wanting money and needing a miracle, I was willing to believe this spirit. It was strange. I knew it was wrong, but I honestly wasn’t sure if it was God or not. So, I obeyed this other spirit and bought a lotto ticket.

Looking back, I can see clearly what was going on with me. I can see clearly that I was lusting after money and was willing to listen to Satan to satisfy this lust of the flesh. Then, I had no idea what was going on. I just wasn’t sure. So, I told Sally what I was going to do, hoping that maybe she had heard from God about this as well or that she would offer some rebuke, but she said, “yea, go buy me one too.” Well, of course I didn’t win. Thank you Jesus!

The final straw in this relationship with this woman was that after being truly warned by the Holy Spirit not to go to her house, I went. I was told by the true Holy Spirit, not to enter into her house. I remember pleading with God to let me go there, because I really wanted to see my friend. After much pleading He said, “Ok, but He didn’t want me to.” Ya know, I have learned that if God Almighty doesn’t want you to go somewhere, you really should listen to Him. But He will not work against your will. If you want to sin, He will let you. So this was my sin.

We talked for a while, and then she was saying that I might “have a spirit” of some sort, ( I don’t remember what the problem was) because I was struggling with some sort of sin issue. She wanted to pray for me. She then began to pray in tongues, shake, and lay hands on me. And it was strange. I heard this deceiving spirit say, “cough” so I coughed. I told her about it and she was like, “Yes, that’s good, keep coughing until it’s all out.” I was thinking to myself, “This is ridiculous. Why am I doing this? I know that I am not demon possessed. I am saved! Why would God ask me to cough? What’s going on?” I was frustrated. I did feel at peace the whole time this was taking place, but I have to believe that it was God’s Grace that had covered me and was giving me peace. It’s only the Grace of God that brought me out of my sin, deception and depravity. Praise God!

So the praying was over and I wanted to run out of there. I was thinking, “what did I just do?” and “Why didn’t I listen to God?” Why did I go in there?” I got to my car and she came up to the window. She was talking to me and I literally saw in a vision ( I believe was of the Lord) a monstrous version of her lunging out at me wanting to kill and destroy me and my family. It really freeked me out and I never went back to her house. I never called her again. I believe the Lord let me see the spirit that is behind her and in her, quite frankly. There’s a little more to tell.

I mentioned Rodney Howard-Browne before. One could write a doctoral dissertation on the evil lies that this one man has perpetrated (well really it’s Satan). It seems that most of the lying wonders in the church today that are inspired by demon spirits come from this man. Sally had told me that you could watch him and his services on the internet. So I starting watching his services on a weekly basis, (the height of which came during my association with Sally).

I became fascinated and curious about this supposed anointing that would cause people to laugh hysterically, jirate, lose all self control, and fall over backwards. I wondered if it was real, and thought that if it was God, then why was it so strange and why didn’t those kind of things happen to me. I watched about 15 services and told my husband that I thought we should go for a visit. He had watched a couple of them with me and was wondering why I was watching that stuff. I told him I was curious. My husband, (Praise the Lord!) said that after praying about it, he didn’t feel right about it. He said no. I was so mad at him! I remember yelling at him, (real Godly behavior right?) and being really steamed at him, but knew that I needed to submit to him and trust God. I am so thankful to God for giving me such a wonderful man who knows the Lord Jesus Christ and I know that it was only God’s Grace that kept me from absolute destruction.

The pastor and ministers at the church that we went to knew that Sally was not ok. There was obviously something wrong with her because she seemed to just act weird, but they didn’t confront the wrong doctrine in the sermons or services, because by default, they were adherents to the same beliefs as her. That’s why they didn’t rebuke her. They had associated themselves with Dutch Sheets, Cindy Jacobs, Chuck Pierce, and I am sure, quite a few others. A house divided cannot stand.

I had told the pastor what the Lord had shown me and he admonished me to tell her what the Lord had shown me. I think he felt good, because he didn’t have to confront anything (they only confronted when they would gain something from it), he could just send me. So I did eventually tell her what the Lord had shown me, but I didn’t do it the right way. I don’t know. I know I messed it up. I ask God to forgive me. What I said to her didn’t help her, is what I mean, because I didn’t sit down with the Word of God and really talk about what happened and why it was wrong and that I had to repent of the evil that I had done and had included her in. I was afraid and I was in bondage and didn’t have a clear understanding of the scripture. While I knew that what she was doing and believing was wrong, I was doing the same things by default. I had put myself under law and thus bondage.

I knew there were things that were wrong with what was being taught in our church, but didn’t know what. I honestly couldn’t see it. I couldn’t identify why it was wrong from the Word of God, because they used the Word of God to back up everything that they did. It is this way with all false doctrine. Religion is the fig leaf of man. It was like I was a doctor looking at all of the symptoms of some kind of deadly disease, but couldn’t diagnose what it was. There was something missing.

This is the clearest example of the seducing spirit that I have seen and experienced.  Thank God for the Cross!  Thank you Jesus for forgiving me of this gross sin!  Thank you Lord!